Will going back to Indonesia very soon..

I'll going back to Indonesia soon.. In 15th of May.. I have a wonderful experiences in the end of my internship here..

I had a wonderful experience to be an international faci for EVOLVE Conference.. working with a great people.. and meeting with excellence delegates from 14 countries..

And finally I can tasted the Chili Crab.. hahahaha..

Thanks.. thanks.. and thanks... I have a really wonderful life experiences.. not many people can have the opportunity like me.. thanks..thanks.. and thanks.. for giving me this great life!

These last weeks I learn a lot.. I found something new in me..
These last weeks I work with a very positive environment.. This positive environment make me learn a lot of things.. I learn how to have positive behaviors, I learn how to think positive, and how to say positive sentences..

Negative and positive.. two words that have a very different meaning and give a very different impact.. It's a choice to be positive or negative.. And it's up to us to choose what's best in our life.

I will be missing my funny uncle.. a lot!!!!

Today is my last day working in HIV Patient Care Center here.. So sad... This place is the only one place that can make me smile and feel happy.. I can meet a lot of people, a lot of books, and huge lunch there..

Today I had my last computer class.. Oh My God.. I will miss all of them so much.. I will miss Gina, May, and all of my uncles there.. Especially my funny uncle who always gave me a huge portion of lunch even when I remind him to give me the small portion of lunch several times... For lunch package usually they have a big portion of rice, a lot of chickens, and several types of vegetables. When I started to have my lunch, funny uncle always came with a huge bowl of hot soup.. And I always can't finished it all!!

Today my funny uncle tried to make me happy.. I know he doesn't like computer class, what he like is only cooking and making handicraft.. Usually he always tried to get escape when I asked him to type some words.. But today he sat beside me and he said "ok, I wanna try.." huhuhu.. so touchy..

I had a wonderful last day there.. I enjoyed every single moments there when I just arrived and say hi to everyone there, joined with them during lunch time before computer class session 1 started, my last lunch time there, second session of computer class, until the moments when I helped other uncle to cleaned up the room before leaving that place..

Will miss all these things.. It's a small place that not much people know about it and care with it, but it's very homey and full of nice people that can make us happy..

Huhuhu.. so saadd..

SEMANGAADDDDHHHH!!!

Just words to motivate me to pass my 13 last days here:

Foreign influences will probably have a very positive impact on your life right now, so it is a wonderful time to explore a culture that is new or unusual to you. Getting acquainted with its unfamiliar customs, foods, traditions and music will not only educate you -- it will inspire you to continue to move beyond your comfort zone and take more risks in your life. You have absolutely nothing to fear by trying something that you have never tried before.

Tittaaaahhh SEMANGAAAAADDDHHHH!!!!

My thoughts

Too much things happen in my life as an DT intern these days.. I just too busy to write all my thoughts in this blog...too many things came out into my mind.. too many questions with blur answers..too many things to support me getting lost my motivation..

I tried to write everything that happen to me.. but it seems like I stuck with something and it's really hard to tell everything that I feel these days.. even with this blog.. these days I tried to write everything that came up into my mind and all of them always being unfinished story..

I just getting lost when I found that bad things happen around me and I can't do anything to make it better.. I tried my best... I gave my opinions.. I do what I'm not supposed to do.. I sacrifice a lot of things.. And it doesn't work.. everything still same like before.. getting fall into the deepest part.. without effort to make it better.. I'm sad because no one tried to learn from this.. no one has a passion to struggle for something that we wanna reach.. I believe everything will be the same if we are not tie our hands together..

Today we just decided to forget everything that make us sad.. then me and Suvarna went to China Town.. Suvarna bought a lot of gifts there.. And I bought a lot of new and unique foods there.. I bought Chinese Mochi, Japanese Mochi, and Tapioca.. hehehe.. Then we went to Analaksmi Restaurant.. It is Indian Restaurant.. There we can anything that we like and pay anything that we like.. In the beginning I couldn't believe this restaurant system.. I just think that they will have no profit because of this system. Some people might be eat a lot of foods and tthen pay less of money compared with what they eat.. I keep asking Suvarna about this several times.. Then I knew that this restaurant serve the best Indian foods that they can cook, they want to make every people that come there feeling happy after they eat the foods.. they don't care about the profit.. Poor people might not pay any foods that they eat.. and some people who have a lot money can pay more if they happy after eat the foods..and the balance will come through that way.. so nice..

Sunshine After The Rain

Sunshine - Good times
I know we'll be fine

Woke up this morning another brand new start
Felt so alive I jumped with every beat of my heart
When you came over I could see something was wrong
It really isn't worth that you just get to keep moving alone

You know that I'll always be there

I'll be your sunshine after the rain
When the sky is turning grey
you know that I'm never far away
Sunshine after the rain
Together 'til the end
Whenever you're in need of a friend
or a shoulder to cry on
someone there to rely on
I'll be your sunshine after the rain
It's the one thing I won't change

We know each other since I don't know how long
As long as I remember you were always there singing along
There have been some good times and it's even been some sad
But we always somehow managed
To get something good out of the bad

Remember – I'll always be there

Some say that friends will come and go
But this thing we have will always grow
It's this one of these things you know

Sunshine – Good Times
I know we'll be fine
Sunshine – Good Times
I know we'll be fine

Psst: For everyone who still remember this song.. I just wanna say I love u all.. Missing that beautiful moments.. This song gave me a lot of beautiful things to remember.. Thanks for Reita and the team who create the the Roll Dance of this song..

I talked about me..

I don't know what I should write rite now.. I think too much.. I have a lot of things on my mind.. Everything fighting inside of me and against each other.. I'm too tired to analyze what is best and what is worst.. I just don't want to do what other people think I need to do.. I'm struggling to find out about me, about what I want, and about what's best for me.. Even when I still don't know what to do then I just let it flow..

Sometimes I just stand here and don't want to move everywhere.. Just standing and keep quite.. Sometimes I push my self too hard and everything will be overloaded.. Sometimes I felt happy when I did the right thing and sometimes I felt terrible when I did the wrong thing.. And sometimes I felt nothing..

Assertiveness... This word always came out when I asked somebody to evaluate me.. I'm lack on this thing and I need to be more assertive.. That's what other people said about me.. I pushed my self to be more assertive, but then I felt that wasn't me at all.. If I still to be like this.. lack of assertiveness.. I won't be a better person.. I need to try harder for this..

The problem why I lack on this is because I always prioritize other people rather than my self.. I always wanna do something for other people and less of doing something that really good for my self.. I always wanna make other people happy and less of courage to make my self happy.. I think I need to think about my self more.. I need to understand more about my self.. understand really badly about what I want rather than always think about what I can do for other people..

No emotion.. that's the second word that people said when I asked them to evaluate my self. It's hard for me to show other people about my passion, my excitement, and etc.. It's hard for me to get mad to other people even when that people hurting me really badly.. I always keep everything inside.. my angriness, my happiness, and all my feeling.. I just feel like somebody who has her own world.. It's like there is a wall that really high between me and other people around me.. It's not good to keep everything inside.. I should learn to tell other people much things about me.. I should learn to express my feeling more and more and show it to other people.. yeah, I should learn to do it before everything that I keep inside for so long will be bursting one day..

I learn a lot and know a lot about understanding the different characteristics of other people, how the way they are thinking, how they will react in every condition, and etc.. I learn a lot and know a lot about that.. But, one thing that I miss is learning about my self and understanding about me deeply... I felt I know a lot about my self before, but then when I came here for my internship, I just realise that I know nothing about me.. I feel lost and starting again from the beginning to find the right direction for exploring my self.. I believe everything that happen to me now will bring me to a better place, better direction, and better way to achieve what I want in my life..

Okay.. it's good to be here.. A lot of things always come up into my mind.. A lot of things make me more really-really think.. A lot of things make me realize about everything that I never thought before..

Jurong Bird's Park Expedition

I went to Jurong Bird Park with Suvarna and saw many birds attraction there.. It was nice and gave me new experience..

In every show they always gave messages about loving and caring the environment and the animals who living there.. Nice and inspirational..

Our first show was the talking birds.. She can introduce her self, count 1 to 10 in english and mandarin languages, and she can sang some songs like Mandarin Songs about love, Rasa Sayange, and Happy Birthday.. So funny..

Then we walked around and saw the next performance. It was feeding time for the penguins.. The penguins really remind me with Happy Feet movie where Mumble trapped in the Zoo and look so sad when he didn't have spirit to keep alive and when he missing his habitat with all his friends there.. then finally he found a hope through his happy feet to give a better place and better chance to live for all the penguins that living in his habitat.. he attracted all the people there to saw his feet performance and make these people aware with him and his living environment.. One of the Penguin really look like Mumble.. Just thinking are they feels like what Mumble felt when he trapped on that zoo.. Are they feeling sad to live there... living in a fake ice mountain and fake ocean.. which one will be better? living in the zoo where they have a place to live and enough foods to eat but doesn't have the freedom.. or.. living in their habitat that getting broken and there are not enough food for them? Each of these two option have positive and negative side.. But, I think it will be better if they live in their habitat and people more aware with the environment.. so, the penguins will be happily stay alive in their habitat and involve on keeping the food chain running normally..

The last show was the hawk performance.. It was the most interesting show there.. And challenging! The audiences can learn to love the hawk and getting closer and touch the hawk..

After those 3 shows we walked around and saw many kind of birds.. All of them are beautiful..
They have different type of beak, different color of feathers.. very beautiful.. I just thinking.. God must have a reason why He create them in different type and colors.. Each of the beak has their own function, every shape and color on that birds have the meaning and their own function.. Everything that created in this world has the meaning.. God create me like this with the specific meaning too.. And it's our task to discover what God's means with that and maximize it wisely..